- Defying expectations, Democrat Kathy Hochul
won the special election to fill a House seat in New York state that family values Republican Chris Lee vacated when he got caught
soliciting sex on craigslist just like the rest of us pleibs. The district is heavily
gerrymandered to favor Republicans, but candidate Hochul hammered her opponent for supporting dreamboat
Paul Ryan's plan to privatize Medicare. Who would have thought that a congressional district drawn to have lots of conservative seniors would vote to preserve health benefits for seniors?
- Indiana governor and architect of the Bush tax cuts for the rich Mitch Daniels has decided
not to run for president. Following Mississippi governor Haley Barbour's and former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee's exits, the Republican field is looking a little scary-thin, as girls around my age like to say.
- Fortunately, former right-wing senator Rick
Santorum is
throwing his hat into the circus ring for the Republican presidential nod! I'm putting his name on my list of Republican
sideshows who have no shot of winning the nomination right between Herman Cain and Newt Gingrich. I call that a "Santorum sandwich." If you don't know what santorum means and you didn't click the link, I'll just define it for you: it's the frothy mixture of lube, semen, and fecal matter that results from anal sex. Other than that, the august senator is best known for comparing gay sex to bestiality.
The same vendor also sells kitchenware in the likeness of Bill Clinton except with a corkscrew for a penis
Santorum giving his concession speech after losing reelection, his goody two shoes children weeping in the foreground