Florida's primary being as good as over

I'd stake out a space 100 leagues right of where Romney is on any issue imaginable if I were Newt Gingrich.

A couple ideas off the top of my head:

- Call on congressional Republicans to reject funding compromises for the payroll tax cut extension unless they include provisions expediting the Keystone XL pipeline
- Call for a constitutional life amendment (inalienable right to life begins at conception)
- Call for a constitutional death amendment (to clarify: states have an unalienable right to execute people whom due process has judged not to have rights to life)

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a drawn out primary!

And Newt and Mittens look like the two strongest candidates from here on out. And right now, both run campaigns by admonishment. Newt preaches work ethic and laments redistribution of happiness to hedonists:

“Happiness in the 18th century meant wisdom and virtue, not hedonism,” Gingrich says without a scintilla of embarrassment, even though he, himself, has pursued a fair amount of hedonism in his lifetime. “And they promised us the right to pursue,” Gingrich continues. “There is no provision for a Department of Happiness. They issued no happiness stamps. And if you said that you were going to take happiness from some and distribute it to others, the Founding Fathers would have asked by what right?”

While Mittens' is apparently pushing back against questions about his business history by appealing to the successful douchebag wing of the Republican party:

“The Republican Party doesn’t demonize prosperity," Romney declared. "We celebrate success in our party.”